When you spend time with other people it makes for a good practice in stoicism.
We are all different and play games.
I like people’s characters for example.
Acting like a stroppy child when a person doesn’t get what they think is their way. Or more accurately when they didn’t get to do what they suggested and proposed.
With short answers and ‘whatever I’m easy’ but through gritted teeth.
When things don’t go to plan on the day that they didn’t get to organise. They take every opportunity to give you a knowing smile or even a comment ‘see I knew it… said we should have …. ‘ ! This can start to hit a nerve.. so stoicism is needed!
But even more clever games come the next day, when the next day you say to the question what shall we do today? The game player wont suggest anything. ‘I’m Eazy’ comes the reply. But they’re not at all.
So you push them or suggest what they wanted to do yesterday as an example.
…. The game starts again. They then push the ownership and I assume the onus of the trip they wanted to go on, to you. ‘Well if you want to go there today yes I will come’?… now if it doesn’t go to Plan … who gets all it in the neck? More stoicism.
Or the third way it happens is you throw open to them ‘what do you want to do?’ After they have spent time hinting… they feign complete inaction to organise it or get ready? You sit and wait politely for a ‘let’s go’ or ‘shall we go after ?’ But silence ….. then you spend the rest of the time parrying more barbed comments about ‘waisting the day’, ‘not worth going this late’… so more stoicism needed.
Deep breath, don’t bite…. I have learned that people make themselves miserable, that making other people uncomfortable derives them some pleasure (although they wouldn’t ever admit it). But the price they pay is their own misery. That it is a no win situation for themselves. They lose. When I mean lose, I mean their own control they lose. Their own serenity.
What do I do! I blog about it. As I find it fascinating! I slightly feel sorry for them!
What a lovely place to chose to be calm or chose to be miserable.